A lot of people are looking for the one to spend their lives with, but love is hard when you are young. You haven’t even gotten yourself figured out and yet you want to meet someone possibly to spend the rest of your life with.
You have a job, but you might not be into your career yet so you feel like a failure. You try to be healthy and keep fit, but it’s hard on your salary because healthy food is expensive. And even though you try to save because you’re old enough to know that money actually has value and should be saved in a bank, maybe even in investments, you don’t have that much money to begin with and you’re scraping by.
So you feel even more worthless because mainstream culture tells you need a large bank account and big muscles in order to find the one. Don’t worry! There are plenty of things you can offer to your potential partners. All you need to know how to do is to play up your strengths. That’s where this article comes in.
Read on to discover how to display your positive qualities correctly to attract some dates.
So, you’re twenty-something. You have some kind of a job, maybe even the one you see yourself doing in ten years from today. You’ve already realized that being a healthy and fit individual is important, and you’ve lived long enough to see that money actually matters. However, every time you look in the mirror you’re reminded that you don’t have the manly physique of a seasoned warrior and whenever you come back to the room you’re renting you remember that you’re not exactly a wealthy man, either. Yet you feel that there are some things you can offer women, the only problem is that they don’t really see that. And the truth is, they won’t see those things until you show them.
People See What You Show Them
The first important point I want to make is that people are not mind readers. People who aren’t you have no idea what’s going on in your head. They don’t know how cool, creative, smart and funny you can be, unless you are those things with them. If you don’t broadcast your inner world through actions and words, nobody is really ever going to know how awesome you can be.
Same goes for girls. Say, you have something you’re really proud of in your life which you think would matter to the females you’re interested in. A new, shiny, not-bad-for-your-age consulting job, for example. It doesn’t pay that much, but it gives you tons of experience every day, you get to fly around on business trips every other week, talk to business owners, analyze mature businesses, and wear a blue suit for a reason. Not something you would brag about when you’re forty, but at twenty-three, you feel like you’re ahead of your competition by a comfortable margin.
Awesome! Make this element of your life your main selling point. Women of all ages love men who have a purpose, are useful for the society and have career prospects. Women love men who:
- Can support them financially
- Have had unique experiences
- Have deep knowledge in a specific field
- Are important, even if only to the three people you manage.
And, voilà, the job you landed two weeks ago can make you look like you’re all those things!
Let’s explore one more example. Say, the main thing in your life right now is fitness. A year ago you discovered bodyweight training, and even you had some time off training during this year, you became a much stronger, leaner, more athletic and healthy personality. You feel good about your changing physicality, you’re fairly satisfied with your image in the mirror, and you enjoy your workouts. You’re still far from your dream physique, but hey! You’re determined to keep progressing on your fitness path and are confident in your ability to reach your fitness goals.
Again, make that the main thing you tell women about yourself. Being healthy, strong and having stamina is extremely appealing to women:
- Being healthy means you have a lower chance of having a serious illness and, therefore becoming much less useful
- Being strong means you’re useful in everyday life: you can pick up the luggage, you can carry around children, you can perform more sex positions and, in extreme scenarios, you’re more likely to successfully defend a woman and her children from aggressors
- Having lots of stamina means you can run away from a threat, you can climb the stairs without having to catch your breath and you last longer in bed.
To put it shortly, being fit is a huge turn-on for women! It makes you useful to them in many ways, and I like to think that being sexy and attractive is extremely closely associated with being useful.
So, going back to the main topic of being an attractive young male, it is very important to pick one or a few of your main strengths and broadcast them to women that you wish to impress. However, don’t be shouty about it. You don’t want to give people the impression that your job is the only thing that matters to you or that you live in the gym and supplements is the only topic that interests you. What you want to do is say “Hey, I’m already a pretty cool, all-around individual, but the main thing I’m invested in is my job/fitness and I’m pretty darn cool at that”.
What I’m trying to emphasize is that you need to open up about yourself in order for people to see what you’re made of. Why is it so important? Because at this stage of your life, you’re probably not a Greek god not you are a successful professional, or a successful anything for that matter. You’re simply just not there yet. But to women, it’s not only about who you are right now. It’s also very much about who you’re going to be in 3/7/15 years from now, and that’s what we’re going to talk about in the next paragraph.
People Care Who You’re Going To Be
Let’s look at relationships from an investment point of view. In many ways, investing into capital or stocks is very similar to investing into people. When we hang out with people, when we conversate, when we help other people, we’re essentially using our resources to make another person feel good/help them reach their goals. People don’t usually want to do that to people they don’t believe in.
For example, by the time babies are born, parents are already extremely invested into them. They’ve already spent many hours preparing for a child’s birth and made countless sacrifices, not to mention carrying one around in your belly for nine months. After childbirth, most parents are demonstrating very investor-like behavior: just like any investor, they’re trying to protect their investment (time, sacrifices, energy, love) the best they can and help their small companies (children) grow to a desired direction and at a desired pace.
Sticking with the investor metaphor, not many things change when we move from parent-children relationships to those of men and women, only that mating partners can actually choose whom to invest into.
And it’s crucial to understand this when you’re a young male. When you’re twenty-somewhat, you’re not a Fortune 500 corporation yet. You’re most likely not yet a mature company of any size. You’re a startup! Or a young company that has been in the market for a few years.
Do venture capitalists like to invest into startups? Hell yeah! Startups that show potential, have a good strategy and are able to broadcast all of their awesomeness to the right ears have investors lining up on their doorstep, offering money. And that’s exactly what you want to do when approaching women: you want to show them that you’re worth investing into. After all, you’re potentially offering your lady to spend the rest of her life with you. To let you be the father of her children. She should be damn careful about whom to choose.
So, the last question left to discuss is: how do people decide whom to invest into? How do we form our opinion about others’ potential? Well, just like companies, we look at historical data to determine the future. Of course, there are many factors that we take into account when evaluating potential (smartness, appearance, ability to adapt and learn, etc.), but mainly we look at what has person done in the past and what is the person doing today. A recovering alcoholic is just an alcoholic taking a break. A basketball star in our school is a future NBA star.
And that’s why it’s so important to be open about your passions today, to show other people how passionate you are about something. Yes, you might not be a prime New-York lawyer yet, but if a woman sees that you’re passionate about it, that you spend a lot of time at it and are doing it consistently, she’s going to start believing that you’re going to achieve your goals, or at least land somewhere worthy on the way.
Your main strength as a young male is potential. Potential is sexy, potential attracts investment, and consistently working to unleash your potential will make people believe that you’re going to reach your goals no matter what. But what’s equally important is to be able to sell that potential to other people. Just being cool is not enough, you need others to know how cool you are, too.
Try it. It works.
Not convinced? Check out this awesome book.